Awesome - The School Told His Daughter Off, So He Stepped In And Did The Unexpected

 Schools have to enforce certain rules, however there is often backlash when it comes to parents and students agreeing to abide by these. In one particular case, a father came to the defense of his daughter when her school insisted she broke the rules.

Dad To The Rescue

Demetra Alarcon’s school had a very strict policy when it came to dress code, and dress length. She showed up for school one day, without realizing that it would end in a bitter battle between her school and her father.

Kind Of Embarrassing

When 13-year-old Demetra Alarcon arrived at school that day, she had no idea what would ensue. When students don’t abide by the clothing guidelines, teachers will take disciplinary matters into their own hands.

Summertime Blues

Summertime is hard at school, when it comes to dress code, female students tend to wear shorts, dresses, skirts, or even tops with thin straps. While most of the time, girls put on those types of outfits without any thought about it, one certain teacher had something to say.

California Girl

Demetra Alarcon was a regular 13-year-old girl from California, and tended to dress like the other kids her age. On this certain day, she decided to wear a romper to school to be comfortable due to the heat. However, the dress code deemed these outfits inappropriate due to them distracting other students.

Demetra’s Dad

Demetra’s father Tony has always had a passion for real estate and also has over 20 years of experience as an independent investment banker. He is very involved in his daughter’s life, and of course is the first to come to her defence should something happen.

Sister Act

Demetra has always had the support of her parents; she also has a strong bond and special relationship with her older sister. The two grew up very close, and when middle school got hard, she was lucky that she had her family around her. However, there’s one person we still haven’t introduced in this story.

Mommy Dearest

Demetra has always been close to her mother, she has always been a guiding force in her life, there to help her and teach her. She always hoped that whatever happened, she could go to her for help.

Dress Code Violation

Let’s get back to the day of the event in question. On that particular day, Demetra didn’t think she had anything to worry about regarding her outfit. After all, her parents had given her permission to wear it to school, so in her mind surely it was fine.It turned out, however this wasn’t the case at all, in actual fact, quite the opposite. When Demetra’s dad found out about the dress code conflict, he thought about what to do before deciding upon a response.

Hot Day At School

It was 90 degrees out on the day that Demetra arrived at Raymond J. Fisher Middle School, in Los Gatos, California. Again, she had chosen to wear the blue romper because it would be comfortable in the hot climate. Unfortunately, not long after she got to school, some of the teachers noticed the outfit and didn’t think that it was in line with the dress code. One of the teachers was not happy about it and felt it was too short.

Past Problems

It also seems fitting to mention that this wasn’t the first time that Demetra had run into problems with the school’s dress code. Previously, she had been told a top was inappropriate because her bra strap was showing. “Lord forbid I might be wearing a bra,” she said sarcastically during an interview with the San Jose Mercury News.

Back To School

On the hot day in question, Demetra’s teacher called her dad, Tony. Her father was advised about the situation and given a couple of options. He could either bring her up a change of clothes that fit the dress code or have her go home for the day. Tony said “Okay” went home and grabbed Demetra a new outfit. The outfit included a tank top with spaghetti straps and a pair of short denim shorts. Demetra quickly got dressed and when she came back into the room, the administrators still were not happy with what he had chosen.

The Touch Test

The administrator told Demetra’s father that the new outfit also did not meet the dress code, and he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. He disagreed on what was deemed appropriate with the administrator. “I asked Demetra to bend over and touch her toes, right in front of the administrator,” said Tony later on in an interview. “And I said, ‘Nothing is hanging out. There’s nothing inappropriate. I don’t understand this dress code rule.’”

Why They Said “No”

As Demetra’s father, Tony, sat waiting for an explanation, the school official started to explain. It was the length of the romper that made it a dress code violation, and the shorts were just as short as the romper, the administrator explained. According to Tony, he was told that the clothes could be distracting to the boys. Therefore, Tony’s only option was to give Demetra a pair of leggings for the day. Demetra said the leggings were uncomfortable in the heat.

It’s Unfair

Demetra said she felt “picked on” by the officials, even though the dress code clearly did state that shorts and dresses have to extend to the tip of the wearer’s fingertips. She felt that the dress code seems to be much more restrictive for girls than for boys. However, people pointed out, boys are not very likely to wear extremely short shorts or tight fitting clothes.

Enforced Equally?

Demetra also said that among the rules that are in place for the dress code, they aren’t enforced consistently. For instance, the dress code stated that boys aren’t supposed to wear hats during school, but according to Demetra, “They don’t write you up for hats,” Demetra said. “I know one guy who wore a hat to class every day last year, and he was never written up.” This was not good enough for Demetra’s dad, and he had something to say on the matter.

Dad’s Got Her Back

Demetra wasn’t the only one who felt that the school was promoting inequality. He said that the dress code needs to be applied equally to all students and complained that this was not yet happening at the school at the time of the incident. “Demetra isn’t alone,” Tony said. “Just sit in Fisher’s parking lot and you’ll see that.” Also, just as Demetra did, Tony noted that the school’s dress code was primarily concerned with what female students chose to wear.

Warm Weather

According to critics of the school’s dress code, it was absolutely not compatible with warmer temperatures. When students wanted to wear lighter layers, they were penalised for it, Tony said. This happened on August 28, one of the first days of school, and a day with 90-degree temperatures. Tony argued that the teachers needed to be more lenient and take this into account.

Polling The Students

Demetra’s dad, Tony, wanted to enquire how many students felt the same way. He spoke with many of Demetra’s friends and found that they also agreed that the dress code wasn’t fair. “I’ve heard from multiple girls that they just want to be comfortable, but they feel like they’re being pushed into wearing leggings in 100-degree heat,” Tony said. “I was told by an administrator that the girls’ clothes are a distraction to the boys. That shouldn’t be a concern.”

Still Embarrassed

During an interview with Today, Tony attempted to point out the problem that he had with the dress code. He said there was no reason to make an issue of what a girl Demetra’s age wears, as she’s just a middle school girl who wants to be comfortable. Furthermore, Tony said that Demetra continued to be “embarrassed and upset” even after the incident had been passed. He said it was a natural reaction for someone after “you get pulled out of class in front of everyone.”

Let The Parents Decide

Tony was asked how he would change the dress code if it came to that. He said simply that he would let the parents decide what their kids could wear instead of the school. Yet the issue with that would be that some parents really don’t care what their kids do or may think very differently. What if kids hid their outfits from them. It makes sense why a dress code is in place.

 

Talking About His Views

Demetra’s dad was ready to take this issue as far as he could, because he thought that the school’s implementation of the dress code was extremely faulty. He shared his ideas with news stations as well as on NextDoor.com and other online sites. He pointed out some of the terms used in the dress code and the items that were barred, including “tank tops with spaghetti straps,” that “underwear and midriffs not be visible,” and that students can’t wear “short shorts (inseam less than four inches).”

“It Needs To Change”

Tony left no room for interpretation when he spoke to the local media about the dress code policy. “I mean, today it’s 90 degrees outside and she’s wearing leggings because she doesn’t want to be dress-coded for wearing shorts,” he told one interviewer. “And it’s not OK. It needs to change,” Tony continued. Of course, as his critics pointed out, it’s not that shorts weren’t allowed, but that they had to have a certain length to them in order to meet the school’s dress code.

A Wider Discussion

Tony did not realize it at first, but his dress code argument with the school actually opened up a discussion about girls, sexualization of teens, and body image issues. Many people seemed to support him, while others didn’t agree totally. “Your post has reminded me of some fairly serious body image issues of my own that have stemmed from our cultural shaming and sexualizing of girls’ bodies,” said one commenter who was responding to one of Tony’s posts. It’s an interesting take.

The Principal’s Response

Principal Lisa Fraser was one of the administrators that responded to the controversy during an interview. The dress code was not a new law enforced, she claimed “There has always been a dress code,” she said. “These are standards for reasonable decorum.”  Demetra’s dad, even though he disagreed with her on the matter, he did say that he respected her views.

Differences Of Opinion

Tony eventually agreed that there should be some rules about what to wear at school; he just disagreed with what they should be. “The dress code should require clothes to cover body parts – nothing should be hanging out – I agree 100 percent,” Tony said. “But wearing spaghetti straps and tank tops does not make them disrespectful or appropriate.” Where would the parties go from here?

A Big Meeting

A meeting was set in place to discuss what to do next.  It was just two weeks after the incident when the meeting occurred. The administrators and parents met to discuss the school’s dress code and see what might happen.

Drawing The Line

Principal Fraser led off the meeting in a way that would set the tone for the discussion. She said that she knew everyone had different opinions on the matter and that there would have to be a compromise between individual freedom and school rules. “I do reserve the right to set guidelines for the school,” Principal Fraser said. “But I want to lead with the pulse of the community and reflect the community’s core values.” After that, everyone discussed their ideas and opinions on the dress code.

Sticking With The Rules

Of course everyone had their say and there were mixed opinions.When the meeting finally concluded, nothing was changed about the dress code at that time. The administrators decided that it would be best to keep the rules as they were for the sake of the students.

Moving On

Although Demetra and her father were disappointed that nothing came of all of their efforts to change the dress code, Demetra had to move on and focus on her studies regardless of the outcome. Anyway, at the conclusion of the school year, Demetra graduated and moved on to high school. At the same time, Demetra’s older sister, Gwyneth, graduated from Los Gatos High School and moved on to the next chapter of her life. Although the dress code battle was a bit contentious, Tony, his wife and the girls realized that it wasn’t the end of the world.