Awesome - Teenage Girl Ordered To Leave Prom For This Unfair Reason

Prom is a special event for high school students. They get to dress up, be with friends, and dance the night away without cares or worries. Prom is usually one of the last nights students spend together before preparing for their future. Clare Ettinger was one of these students looking to spend one last night with friends at the dance. However, it ended up not being the night she always dreamed of. Although she found the perfect dress and had a group of friends to go with, chaperones used their power against the teenager, claiming she violated the dress code. Clare was determined to prove them wrong.
Meet Clare

Clare Ettinger was a 17-year-old home-schooled student from Richmond, Virginia at the time of the dance. She and her long-time boyfriend, James Thompson, were looking forward to spending prom together, as many teenage couples dream about their prom night.



Meet Clare
Clare and James

Clare and James had been dating for a while through high school. However, as their four-year academic adventure was coming to a close, they feared the future of their relationship. Would they be going separate ways? Prom night was their night to leave all worries behind.



Clare And James



The Big Night

Clare and her friends, including her boyfriend, had been planning on a night of glamour and fun. They were going to dress up, get together, and have one of the last nights together before parting ways for college and the future. Clare and her friends, though, did not get the night they were expecting.



The Big Night



The Plan for the Big Night

Most proms come with a theme. Clare’s was no different. Her prom advertised a French-inspired theme to generate some buzz about the event. It was “Twilight in Paris,” encouraging people to dress inspired by the City of Love.



The Plan For The Big Night



Finding the Perfect Dress

After finding out the theme, Clare envisioned the perfect dress for the perfect night. She knew exactly what she wanted and was determined to find it. Shopping at five different stores, she had no luck and wanted to give up. It was this time when she stumbled upon it.



Finding The Perfect Dress
No More Worries About the Dress

When it comes to Prom, teens often worry about what they are going to wear. Clare, fortunately, found her perfect dress at a Macy’s outlet store. After purchasing her dress, she could take a sigh of relief.



No More Worries About The Dress

Dress Code

While shopping for her dress, Clare was very aware of the dress code she had to follow. Dresses could not be shorter than finger-tip length. Fortunately, Clare’s dream dress was longer than her arms- it passed the test!



Dress Code



Consequences for Not Following the Dress Code

When she was searching for her dress, Clare surely kept in mind the dress code. By not following it, she would not be allowed in. With so much preparation and excitement for the dance, why wouldn’t she follow the dress code?



Consequences For Not Following The Dress Code

Reading the Fine Print

All the information about the dress code was clearly printed on the dance’s invitations. Clare was aware of these rules and took them into account. You can see the fine print for yourself:



Reading The Fine Print
Getting Ready

Being one of the most memorable nights for a teenager, Clare started to get ready. She was so excited about her look that she was already posting photos on social media before the dance even started.



Getting Ready



Splurging on the Night

As a home-schooled student, Clare did not have many chances to interact with other students in a large gathering. Therefore, her prom was very special for her. She splurged on her appearance for the memorable night, getting her hair styled and buying new makeup.



Splurging On The Nigth



Channeling Marilyn Monroe

Clare did her makeup, put her dress on, and fastened her high heel shoes. Feeling glamorous, she posted photos of herself, receiving positive comments from her friends, telling her she was “channelling Marilyn Monroe.’



Channeling Marilyn Monroe



Unforeseen Changes

When she was out shopping, Clare made sure that her dress passed the finger-tip test. After getting ready and putting on her high heels, she realized that the dress may shift. With a new position on her body because of the heels, Clare may have to ditch her dream dress.



Unforeseen Changes
No Changes

Fortunately for Clare, she did another finger-tip test and the dressed passed- even in heels! She was good to go to the dance. She even took a picture beforehand to prove that she could get in.



No Changes
Preparing for What Lies Ahead

Clare followed all the rules for the night. Her dress met the requirements to get in, even in high heels. She and her friends were all ready for a great night. Little did they know that their plans were about to be shattered.



Preparing For What Lies Ahead

Chaperones

To keep the youth event safe, there were several volunteers chaperoning, including adults that guarded the doors. These ranged from parents to community members. Ann Duncan was one of these volunteers and she would have a major impact on Clare’s night.



Chaperones



Walking In

Excited to start the night, Clare and her friends walked up to the building. However, Clare got stopped by Ann Duncan because she thought Clare’s dress was too short. Clare did the finger-tip test and even showed her the pictures she took from before.



Walking In
Getting In

After redoing the finger-tip test, Ann Duncan saw that there was some space between Clare’s fingers and the end of her dress, though short. As a result, Clare was able to get in, but Ann did not let Clare see the last of this.



Getting In



Special Conditions for Clare

Although she passed the dress code test, Ann still told Clare that her dress was still too short. She allowed her to go inside but said she needed to be careful with how she moved while sitting, standing, and dancing. Ann also said that she would be watching Clare the whole night.



Special Conditions For Clare
Called Out for Her Height

As soon as she walked in, Clare noticed that other girls had shorter dresses than her. Clare was tall for her age, so dresses that looked long on shorter girls appeared short on her. Not only was Clare uncomfortable than Ann would be watching her, but she was upset, now, about her hypocritical nature.



Called Out For Her Height



Too Many Chaperones

After getting in, Clare also noticed the number of chaperones in the venue- there were so many. At some points, it seemed that there were four students for every chaperone. In context, it seemed like there were too many chaperones for comfort.



Too Many Chaperones



Male Chaperones

To make matters worse, there were many male chaperones that made Clare feel uncomfortable. They would stand on the balconies from above and watch the students. However, she and her boyfriend, James, were not going to let the creepy chaperones ruin their night.



Male Chaperones



Starting to Dance

Trying to let their worries go, Clare and James started to dance together. Ann, though, would make a reappearance and claim that Clare was dancing inappropriately and that her dress was starting to ride up. Both Clare and James spoke out on the uncomfortable situation Ann was causing.



Starting To Dance



Starting to Get Heated

Clare decided that she wanted to stand her ground because she followed all the rules. James and their friends all stuck by Clare’s side through the argument. It got to the point that Ann told Clare that she needed to leave.



Starting To Get Heated



Asking for a Supervisor

When Ann told Clare to leave, James immediately asked to speak to the event supervisor. This was not fair for Ann to take control of this situation unfairly. No supervisor was there, so another chaperone got involved instead. They, unfortunately, agreed with Ann and asked Clare to leave.



Asking For A Supervisor



Leaving

Furious with this decision, Clare still refused to leave. She felt she had done nothing wrong and was being unfairly targeted. The stand-off became more intense as Clare and Ann started shouting at each other. Both Clare and James had to leave for arguing back.



Leaving



Requesting Security

Due to the nature of the argument, security had to get involved. Clare refused to back down and got dragged from her own prom. She was there for less than an hour. Looking back, Clare thinks she was targeted for being taller than the other girls and having a dress with more sparkle.



Requesting Security



Following Her Lead

After Clare was removed from the dance, James had to leave as well for speaking out. Clare’s friends also left because of the unfairness. They all requested refunds, but only Clare received one. The people in charge felt that everyone else left by their own choice and did not deserve money back.



Following Her Lead



Reassurance

After leaving the dance, Clare even asked the security guard if he felt that the situation was fair. The guard revealed that he was on Clare’s side, but there was nothing he could do to help her.



Reassurance



Spreading the Word

After the dance, Clare understood that she was probably not the first victim of this situation. However, she was determined to use her access to technology and social media to make her voice heard. She wanted more people to hear about her story.



Spreading The Word



Taking It to the Media

Clare posted her story on Reddit, which quickly spread to other social media platforms, including Facebook. People who read about the situation posted messages directed towards the dance coordinators in solidarity with Clare.



Taking It To The Media



Clare’s Side of the Story

Most of the public heard about Clare’s side of the story first: she was unfairly kicked out of the dance because a chaperone felt uncomfortable with the length of her dress, although it met the dress code.



Clare’s Side Of The Story



Amy Duncan’s Side

Clare’s post blew up on the internet and had people wanting to learn more. So, Amy Duncan shared her side of the story, saying that she allowed Clare in because the dress met the dress code. However, it was made of spandex, so the dress was made of a material that could easily ride up.



Amy Duncan’s Side



The Dancing Debate

According to Clare, she felt targeted for her dress and for her dancing. Amy Duncan stated that she never mentioned anything about Clare’s dancing- it was solely about the dress. This did not change that fact that Clare felt targeted when other girls were dressed and acting the same as her.



The Dancing Debate



Standing Out

Clare stated that she felt targeted because of her body. She was dressed similar to other girls, but because of her more mature form and taller stature, the chaperones felt uncomfortable with her dress and dancing.



Standing Out



Discomfort at the Dance

Clare also felt she was targeted because she made the male chaperones uncomfortable. Since she looked more mature than the other girls, Clare felt uncomfortable with the unwanted male chaperones’ gazes. Therefore, she had to be removed for their discomfort, as well.



Discomfort At The Dance



The Response

Taking her story to social media, Clare received a lot of positivity, encouragement, and support from the general public. Despite the eagerness to support her, the dance organizers never released an apology to Clare, nor did they refund her friends’ tickets.



The Response



Moving Forward

The school’s failure to respond to Clare and her legion of supporters- who were mostly strangers- felt like they were trying to be as hurtful as possible. Despite this, Clare hopes that the future for dress code enforcement improves for young women.



Moving Forward



The Power of Social Media

The Facebook page for the school that organized the dance has not been re-uploaded since Clare shared her experience. Clare likely had a major impact on this. Looking back, she says that she would have done everything the same way.



The Power Of Social Media



Clare’s Impact

By sharing her story, Clare hopes that all schools be more adherent to their own rules. She also hopes that young women not be targeted for their bodies. All in all, Clare’s story shows the definite power of social media and sharing important stories.



Clare’s Impact