Awesome - Nursing Mother Was Offended by Waitress, but a Note on the Check Made Her Understand She Was Different
Breastfeeding is probably one of the most widely debated things that new moms experience after giving birth to a child in this world. In a diner, a woman was breastfeeding her third baby. She was fully aware of the reactions she might get from other people who were looking at her with disdain. To do away with any possible inconveniences, she cautiously went to the vehicle to finish the task. Her spouse followed her and handed over a note which came from one of the staff, expressing her opinion of her breastfeeding. Tears fell from her eyes after reading the note, but not for the reason that you would initially think.
Heading to the eating place
Jackie and her family were in a popular local eatery when her baby became restless. She had just delivered a baby a couple of months ago, and without having second thoughts, she began nursing her child inside the restaurant, knowing that it’s a family-accommodating establishment.
Nonetheless, she saw one of the servers roaming around their area. That’s why she left and went inside her car. The server gave her spouse a note; however, her words caused her “completely stunned and teary-eyed.”
Deserving a reward
She and her spouse agreed to go to the eating place because, well, they deserve a little break now and then. Raising three children requires a lot of hard work, and they wanted to take a break from the stresses of raising their kids on a hot day in 2013.
So, they went to Fong’s place at Fourth Street in Des Moines, Iowa, near their house. The meal there was amazing and delicious, and they enjoyed themselves until Jackie noticed that her new-born child was becoming uneasy.
Infant Growing Hungry
Although her other two older kids were having a fabulous time at the family-accommodating restaurant, the sleeping schedule of the new-born child had already lapsed. Because of this, he did not want to be laid down again the whole time.
Jackie was able to determine what wasn’t right with the child – there are just around three potential causes, one of which is them being hungry. As was her practice with her other kids, she didn’t want to use formulated milk for her newborn.
Just in Private
At home or in her vehicle, she would do breastfeeding without any second thoughts. Though the eating place was a public place, she understood that most people have an issue with breastfeeding in broad daylight.
Because of people who weren’t comfortable with breastfeeding, mothers tend to have the same feeling of unease caused by their judgemental start. Jackie felt just as much discomfort breastfeeding in broad daylight as she had with her previous two kids. Funnily enough, some people stand firm that there’s nothing wrong with doing so.
The Individuals Who Disagree
Some people stand firm by breastfeeding by proudly nursing their child in public. These moms mentioned that this is the most natural method for new-born children to feed and be nourished. Indeed, they believe that the individuals who have an issue with it should be more open-minded and accepting of this necessity of life.
As advocates of breastfeeding state, a body part of a person is more than just something to gawk at if it “serves a greater purpose for another person.” Jackie believed this, which is why, when she got her youngest kid, she had become more open to breastfeeding outside.
She learned about Fong’s…
The reason why she chose Fong’s, to begin with was because of its image as being a family-friendly restaurant, and that’s exactly what she wanted for her children. “I don’t go to other towns for dinner since most establishments aren’t family-accommodating,” Jackie stated, “yet there was a lot of good feedback regarding Fong’s.”
True enough, as soon as they arrived, their children were treated exceptionally by the phenomenal staff and served up a truly delectable meal. The problem was that her newborn child, of course, had different dietary needs and could not be satiated by the same types of meals.
“People can be critical”
Her entire family was satisfied and full, except for her baby boy, who was upset and needed to be breastfed. She began nourishing her newborn child while covering up. She was not worried since they were at Fong’s, but if it were some other place, she would have had second thoughts.
“I have worries about breastfeeding in open places since people can be very critical,” Jackie stated. She was confident and didn’t have to think twice, yet something happened that urged her to leave.
Somebody’s Watching
Jackie didn’t see it immediately, but the minute she began breastfeeding her child, she slowly noticed that somebody was watching them. Jackie herself was simply glad that her child ceased with his complaining and battling.
After a while, though, she began to notice that one of the servers of the restaurant was looking at them from not too far off. The look didn’t appear to be vindictive or particularly judgemental, so Jackie just shrugged it off at first. Not long after, though, Jackie began feeling extremely awkward breastfeeding because of the person.
Strolling By
“The server continued strolling by, so I was concerned she didn’t like me breastfeeding in the restaurant,” Jackie stated. She later stated that she, herself, actually grew up on formulated milk. She did not want that for her newborn child. She wanted her son to enjoy the health benefits that breastfeeding brings.
She wasn’t gung-ho about it. She didn’t defend it vehemently. After all, she did not own Fong’s, and she respected other people and their own personal opinions on the matter.
Moved towards the vehicle
Jackie is not a social justice warrior. She’s not one to loudly speak her mind. Most especially not in the current situation with the family out attempting to relax. Rather than say or do anything untoward, she was more concerned that they’d be asked to step outside at the behest of that one staring server in particular.
Jackie didn’t like to place herself in a situation where her infant would be the center of unwanted attention. So, rather than wait for something to happen, she opted to take herself out of the situation and continue breastfeeding in the privacy of her car.
Sending a note
The child was somewhat rowdy when Jackie handed him over to her spouse while she gathered their belongings, and he had calmed down considerably when she stepped out into the parking lot. All efforts, really, were to keep the staring server from saying something undesirable.
The server finally took action, however, and stepped toward Jackie’s husband. She then handed over the check to him with a message written to it. He was surprised when he read the message.
Gesture of congratulations
Jackie’s spouse and their children ran outside and handed over the note to her, still surprised. “I was in absolute shock and started crying,” Jackie relayed when she learned that the waitress expressed gratitude toward her for breastfeeding by paying for some of the pizzas!
“After wrestling with the negative responses of people for such a long time, it appeared that the universe was giving me a gesture of congratulations. I was too stunned to even think about going back inside to thank the server.”
“Excited She Did that”
It’s uncommon to receive such positive comments for breastfeeding, and it shouldn’t be viewed as outstanding, ideally. In an ideal world, it should be something perceived as human and normal. Bodi, the server, later stated, “I saw [Jackie] breastfeeding and was excited she did that.
I did whatever I could not to stare since I would not like to appear to be frightening or make her feel awkward, but deep inside, I wanted to do jumping jacks.”
Turning into a web sensation
Jackie posted a picture of the receipt with the message on Facebook to show how grateful she was. However, she didn’t expect that her post would turn into a web sensation.
“All of my three kids experienced breastfeeding, I did it in a lot of places whether agreeable or disagreeable, in private or public places,” she started. “Tonight, all the unpleasant feelings I’ve experienced because of looks and gazes from other people were erased. It was my first time to eat at Fong’s tonight.” She, at that point, kept on sharing the story.
Fellow mother
“I was touched and could not say a word,” Jackie shared in her post. “Even though I am not looking for any appreciation or acknowledgment for breastfeeding my baby, I was certainly astonished. It is amazing to know how we, ladies, can positively influence each other.”
There is a saying that it takes a village to raise a child, and Jackie appreciated that someone knew how to show empathy to others. As a warning, though, make no excuse to show kindness to pregnant ladies.
Do anything else aside from buying a pizza!
It is not really a good idea to just go outside to approach and praise women for breastfeeding their children because it will surely make them uncomfortable. If you want to be truly supportive, just don’t judge people.
If you are close to the mother and she is open to talking about it, go ahead, but if not, refrain from doing so. For Bodi, it is a different situation. What she did was showed her empathy without making Jackie uneasy through an act of kindness: paying for some of her pizza.
Anywhere, Anytime
Bodi understands where Jackie is coming from as she faces the same situation. “I breastfeed my child wherever I am.” She said it could be anywhere or through anything she does, from shopping to buying food in the grocery store. “People around me react unfavorably,” she stated.
“One incident happened where I didn’t have a choice but to leave the school play of my daughter because I was afraid I would offend someone. I wanted to assure this woman that she’s doing a great job.”
Be more accepting
Acceptance is what breastfeeding mothers need. Respect someone’s choice of how they want to feed their babies, whether it is to breastfeed or not. Breastfeeding is the natural way to nourish a baby, just like with any other mammals.
That is the reason why, after reading the note, Jackie wanted to see Bodi and thank her personally. According to the Facebook post, Jackie did not have the opportunity to see Bodi in person until she found the social media account of Bodi’s husband.
Reaching Out
Jackie didn’t wait any longer when she found someone who could give a personal message to Bodi. “Please say thank you to your spouse for me,” she said. “I should’ve gone back and thanked her in person at that time in the restaurant. I still have to.”
Jackie added that his wife “moved me and touched a raw and a soft spot in my heart which makes me proud. Unbeknownst to her, it was my 33rd birthday that day. It’s such a great gift to receive a free pizza and an act of appreciation from a stranger.
Normalize breastfeeding
Through Jackie’s message to Bodi, many women across the country were emotionally affected by the kind server’s simple yet incredible action. The reason why their story became a sensation is because society has made breastfeeding such a sensitive issue.
It is the right time to change people’s perception of breastfeeding. The popularity of the post revealed that “there is a need to normalize breastfeeding and to make mothers feel more than welcome to breastfeed in public places.”
People left the same room
“I have always felt awkward and unwanted when I breastfeed,” Jackie shares. “I have generally only experienced looks of disgust and awkwardness from strangers. One time, a woman commented that there were available breastfeeding rooms in the mall while I was beside her breastfeeding my baby with a cover even.
There were also people who have left the same room because they were not comfortable with my presence as I breastfeed my baby.” That is such a rude behavior! But that is another topic of another discussion.
Mothers are afraid of the world around them
Jackie asked why “the number of mothers who nurse their children every day is increasing, but why we don’t see them in public?” Jackie knows the reason.
“Society made them feel scared to breastfeed in public places,” she stated. “Are they going to be the next mother to be requested to stop or to get outside? Are they going to be confronted by another person who doesn’t agree with the way she feeds her kid? Other people see nursing mothers as self-righteous women.”
People don’t get offended by bottled milk
“Mothers can feed their babies using formulated milk anytime and anywhere,” she continued. “People don’t get offended by bottled milk. They do not think that our babies need to be fed as well; instead, people easily tell us that we have to go somewhere else where no one can see us.”
Jackie thinks that formula feeders should be included in this call to unity and acceptance, however. The important thing is to let a mother choose what’s best for her bay, whether it’s breastfeeding or using formulated milk. Everyone should support each other in nourishing and raising children the best way they can.
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