Awesome - Foster Family Takes In A Boy No One Wants To Adopt, Then They Discover His True Colors

 

Growing up is hard enough as it is — throw in a lack of a stable home, and things become a thousand times more difficult. For 10-year-old Andrew, a life spent bouncing around the foster system was really no life at all, and as families passed on him time and time again, he couldn't help but spiral further into despair. But after Dominique and Kevin Gill decided to take a chance on the troubled boy, they revealed a different side of Andrew that would soon change their lives forever.

Meeting Andrew

In 2018, Dominque and Kevin decided they were interested in fostering Andrew. They lived in Nashville, Tennessee, and were empathetic to the poor kid's struggle. Andrew had been in the foster system since he was just six years old, and for four years, he was shuffled between homes.

Left behind

With his biological parents' legal rights now terminated, the 10-year-old was facing another decade of fostering, though there was another sad factor that only made his situation more difficult. "Andrew has four siblings and they were all adopted right away," Dominique revealed. This only made the Gills want to open their home to Andrew even more.

Closed up

Yet once Andrew arrived, he had an incredibly difficult time adjusting. "During his first week with us, he sat in his room with the door closed and looked at old pictures," Dominique shared. "He didn't want to talk." The 10-year-old had an extremely traumatic past and was carrying quite the emotional burden.

Carrying trauma

Though Andrew was now in a caring space, it wasn't as if his past would magically disappear. He'd been hurt as his siblings were adopted. He'd been hurt by his biological parents. Having experienced so much abandonment, Andrew had a lengthy recovery ahead of him. Sadly, his situation wasn't unique.

He's not alone

In Tennessee alone, there are more than 8,000 foster children longing for a permanent home. "They really want that stability in their lives," said Molly Parker of Youth Villages, a nonprofit that supports families in need through rehabilitation programs. The COVID-19 pandemic also complicated the foster system for kids like Andrew.

Complicated by COVID

"A lot of families were unsure if they wanted to open their homes to a placement because they didn't know what the future held," Molly explained. Even still, the Gills made the decision to foster Andrew — and they were in for a rough time ahead.

Pushing them away

From the start, Andrew pushed the Gills away with tantrums. "He'd start shouting, 'Just let me move out!' But I refused to give up on him," Dominique shared. "I was like, 'We are going to get you together.'" Dominque and Kevin were determined to give Andrew a safe space to heal and be loved — after all, they'd already done it once before.

Finding a connection

The couple already had a son named Joc, though he also had problems connecting with Andrew at first. They didn't think they had anything in common — that is, until Joc asked Andrew to play a video game with him. Surprisingly, Andrew nodded. Gaming together led the boys to another important discovery.

Snacks and video games

Both Joc and Andrew loved Poptarts! That was enough to bring the two boys together. "They've been best friends ever since," Dominique revealed. Kevin agreed: "As the years went on, they got pretty close. It's good to see that bond they have grow over the years." And with time, the boys grew even closer.

Building a bond

"We had a lot of stuff in common," Andrew said. "Games, Minecraft," Joc added. Minecraft, it seems, can bring all kinds of people together — there's just something about those cubes that people find irresistible! The pre-teens also have enormous appetites. "They'll eat all day if you let them!" Dominique joked.

Opening up

With more time, Andrew began to trust his foster parents. He shared his troubled past with them, and the Gills showed Andrew that he was a person with value who deserved love. Dominique and Kevin were ecstatic over Andrew's progress, and at this point, they felt it was time to find Andrew his perfect forever home.

Time to move on?

Andrew had been with the Gills for a year now, and while they knew they'd be sad to see him go, this was all part of Dominique and Kevin's mission. The couple wanted to foster as many needy children as possible, just as Dominique's family had done while she was growing up. Yet all the while, there was one thing the Gills never considered during their fostering journey.

Change of plans

Adoption. But this sentiment waivered, however, when Andrew's second chance at a permanent home fell through. "Our mindset was we'd help him until he found his forever home," Dominique shared. "But after the second adoption didn't work out, I realized God put Andrew in our lives for a reason. God made sure the adoption didn't work out so he could come back to us."

A walk in the park

In June 2020, Andrew was surprised to meet Molly from Youth Villages, who invited him to a local park so they could talk. As they walked, Andrew recognized a group of people waiting there for him. "I just turned around the corner and saw everybody," he shared.

Officially a family

Andrew saw the Gills standing with balloons and a big group of their friends. "They asked 'Will you?' and I said 'yeah!'" Andrew beamed. The Gills realized Andrew had been with his forever family all along and decided to make it official. Joc even wore a shirt that read, "Will you be my brother?"

Finding acceptance

When Andrew agreed to be a Gill, the crowd erupted in celebration. "I just really love them," Andrew said — and the feeling was mutual. "From the beginning, Andrew has always said, 'Thank you for accepting me,' 'Thank you for not giving up on me,'" Dominique revealed. "People would read his file and get scared away."

A good child

"But I knew he was a good child who had experienced a lot of trauma," Dominique continued. And so, on July 16, 2020, Andrew got what every child deserves: a loving family. He's been outburst-free for more than a year and continues to improve emotionally, though Andrew's presence has also posed a unique challenge for the Gills.

A matter of race

The family does get stares in public, even though Andrew is well-behaved. "Because Andrew is white and we're Black, people will stare at us," Dominique explained. "They're confused." Fortunately, this doesn't bother Andrew. When he was first getting paired with foster families, he said he didn't care about their race.

Love has no color

"Love doesn't have a color. [Andrew] is our son just like Joc is our son," Dominique said. "He's a part of us." Joc and Andrew's relationship has also continued to blossom. "When we see them together, we're glad we decided to adopt Andrew," Kevin shared. "It just seems like it was meant to be."

Best friends and brothers

In fact, the boys have become so inseparable they even chose to share a room, allowing them to game and talk as much as they want. They each have a TV, making it easy for both boys to play at the same time, and, of course, easy access to plenty of Pop Tarts for fuel. "This is my brother, Joc," Andrew beamed. "This is my brother, Andrew," Joc echoed.

Each day has its challenges

Their sibling connection helped Andrew feel safe and accepted. And while hard days are impossible to avoid, Andrew found happiness with his adopted family in a way he'd never known before. The Gils pay attention to Andrew's needs, knowing that adoption is a complicated and ongoing journey.

Listening to their needs

While the Gils adjusted to their family dynamic, they'd seen how important it was to listen to your adopted child when they tell you what they need. The family took a note from a similar young adoptee who went to her adoptive parents and asked to know more about her original family. The profound difference it made for her emotionally was what they hoped to provide for Andrew.

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